A Woman’s Journey -- 2001
Elizabeth Rabia Roberts

For the first time in six years of work in the region, I traveled alone to Southeast Asia with no formal agenda. I would be a pilgrim without plans, but with a willingness to serve. I wanted to know what would happen when my calendar wasn’t packed with trainings, workshops, and meetings. Would anything happen at all?

The answer to my question was quick in coming. There was as much to do as I was prepared to make time for. It was solitude, in fact, that proved a bit hard to come by. Because I was traveling without Elias, the Thai people did everything they could to make sure I was never alone – something they simply would never choose to do. Every day opportunities to be a friend, mentor, consultant, listener, or teacher emerged readily. During two months in Thailand, I was asked and agreed to:

• facilitate a conference of Buddhist monks, nuns and lay practitioners from all over Asia;
• train a group of 30 Burmese activists in eco-psychology practices;
• work on the educational curriculum for a “University of the Poor”;
• design a rites-of-passage program for a private Thai high school;
• interview young girls caught up in the still growing regional sex trade;
• give a presentation on the design of ecological cities to the Chamber of Commerce in Chaing Rai; and
• present a seminar on holistic health to physicians and nurses in Bangkok.

Of course much of this came about because I had worked in the region before and had contacts in the Buddhist activist community. But not all of it. Some of these opportunities to connect with diverse peoples and be of service were the result of chance meetings and a willingness to say “yes” to invitations — in spite of not being an expert! Over time I came to recognize that what I have to offer is the result of a wide-ranging career path — a path that I sometimes find hard to explain in the U.S. with its emphasis on specialization. This generalist quality to my interests plus the natural wisdom of age proved more than adequate to every situation.

I am convinced that with a few names and telephone numbers, a willing and open person can find meaningful ways to serve in almost any country if they are willing to step beyond the boundaries of the known. Traveling alone facilitates contact, as well as prayer, meditation and silence — from which clarity and confidence can arise. I don’t think I ever felt so well used, with so little effort on my part, as this time in Asia.

Everything was not easy of course. I primarily lived the life of a local activist. I slept on thin blankets on hard floors of unscreened rooms. I did the mosquito jig every time I needed to use the squat toilet. I took long, long truck rides to the next place; shared accommodations with young Thai nuns who had the habit of staying up late and rising very early and I meditated with sweat rolling into my eyes. Yet there was never a time I wanted to be anywhere else. (O.K. there were those times when I gave in to my need for privacy and a flush toilet and checked into western style hotels…)

My impressions this time were strongly effected by traveling without my partner and confidant, Elias, to filter or influence my experiences. I spent much more time with women of all ages, both in work and in casual conversation – also more young people and service people sought me out. The undeniable patriarchy of my beloved Thailand was terribly apparent. My consciousness, which has been feminist since I came out of the womb, was raised even more by all I saw and heard.

I offer the following images – not as representing the sum total of my experience, they do not – but in solidarity with the struggle faced by my Asian sisters. Their small stories should also be told.

Buddhist Reform in Thailand
“…It is only four days since my arrival and I have been asked by my friend and teacher Achaan Sulak Sivaraksa to facilitate this seven-day meeting, called Ariyavinaya, focused on the renewal of Buddhist monasticism in Asia. There are over 50 monks from Thailand, Mongolia, Cambodia, Sri Lanka, Ladakh, and Tibet. Many of the Thai monks are old friends and I am looking forward to the meeting. Nine nuns and 12 lay people have also been invited. It is the first morning, the monks sit in a huge circle of comfortable chairs around the outside, while the nuns and lay people sit on the floor in the middle. This doesn’t seem like a floor plan conducive to dialogue but, I am told, the arrangement is protocol.

“...Dr. Juo Hseeuh Shih is a Thai nun with a doctorate in Buddhist studies from Taiwan. She is dressed in white and is speaking quietly of her experience as a nun for the past 11 years. She reminds the group of monks assembled that nuns in Thailand cannot receive full ordination. They receive no support from the laity as do their brother monks, nor do they receive support from the male monasteries. They must beg for money on the streets and yet they are responsible for most of their country’s social work. Dr. Juo is telling how she has tried to get the neighboring monks to teach basic meditation practice to the nuns at her monastery in central Thailand. For 5 years the monks have refused. These nuns, like most, do the washing and cleaning for the monks. This is why she went to Taiwan where, in addition to her doctorate, she received ordination in the Theravadin tradition. Now, her fellow nuns shun her and the monks claim she has no legitimacy as an ordained bikhuni to teach the dharma and meditation practice. She wants to raise money to send more nuns to Taiwan and Sri Lanka for ordination. She is interrupted by a senior monk for taking too much time with her story. None of the rest of us comment.

Sharing Herstory
“...I am leading a seven-day deep ecology retreat for 30 young leaders from Burma. As always these eco-psychology practices are well received. But the highlight comes each evening at dinner when I take my seat at one of the picnic benches. Slowly the seats around me fill up with the woman participants. They shyly begin to ask questions about life as a woman in the United States. And I find myself telling what is known of women’s history, women’s myths and stories of women saints both Christian and Buddhist. Imagine the myth of Inanna told over smoking mosquito coils, translated into Burmese! I am inspired by the depth of their desire to know. I agree to lead two five-day retreats on “ Women and Spirituality” in Rangoon, Burma, and Chaing Mai, Thailand, in 2002.

Sex, Lies and Videotapes
“In my years of work in Asia I have stayed away from the many problems involved in the sex trade of women and children. I can’t do everything, and this is not an area in which I have much to offer. I have read that most prostitutes come from poor rural areas, where they are taken from villages, their parents misled into believing they are going to get domestic work. I know Thai nuns are providing services and relief work where possible and AIDS workers have been “successful” in slowing the spread of the infection in Thailand. This is what I know. It turns out that what I don’t know could fill a book. What can we make of the following realities? Is this the alternative “freedom” we want our Muslim sisters to embrace?

“I am taken by my friend Ouyporn, coordinator of the women’s project of INEB (International Network of Engaged Buddhists), to a wealthy neighborhood outside Bangkok. We watch across the street as girls in white blouses and blue skirts pour out of the doors of their school for lunch break. I see a Black BMW pull up and a lovely little girl about 12 or 13 gets in. A few minutes later the scene repeats. I assume these girls are being picked up and taken home for lunch. I comment on their obvious privilege. Ouyporn tells me this is not so. The cars are taking these girls to sexual liaisons with older rich men. “Why?” I ask, “These girls are not poor.” “Oh, they want some pocket money or to buy something their parents won’t let them have. They do it for the extra spending money.” “How much do they get”? “About 50 American dollars.”

“Ouyporn introduces me to a Swiss woman who is making a video on how the sex trade has spread to Laos and Burma. I am invited to a preliminary screening. All the interviews are with rural tribal girls between 10 to15 years old. All willingly left their villages to serve as prostitutes to earn money to send to their parents. One now has a baby. Another tells us that she is “required” to sleep with three men a day. How long has she been there? “Over 3 years – how many men is that?” she asks the interviewer. She is 14 years old. The oldest girl interviewed suspects she has AIDS but doesn’t want to find out. None have made enough money to send home.

“While waiting for a colleague I find myself at Bangkok’s 22nd Annual Motor Show – truly the pilgrim’s route is unknown and unknowable. On a stage in the big auditorium are spot-lit pretty girls in short skirts and tight tops rocking to a song that I think is called “She Bangs”. I just want to run. I look around and notice that every single car dealer has pretty Asian hostesses and dancers. I decide to encounter the unknown. I find a female presenter who speaks English. This is not difficult since I am told that most of the women working here are college educated. She asks me “This is a world-wide tradition, isn’t it? I am like women everywhere, right?”

The Last Word
“I am skimming through the Bangkok Post. I read that after this year’s election all the top political posts in New Zealand are now held by women—the prime minister, the head for foreign affairs, the chief justice and more than half the parliament. This news is reported under a column heading “Our Strange World” and is followed by a brief item reporting on a recent sighting of a Yeti in Bhutan.

 

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©2003 Elias Amidon & Rabia Elizabeth Roberts, The Boulder Institute